The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - We can do this the Easy Way or...

From Night at the Museum (2006)

Reginald: [while trying to escape, Reginald is found by Christopher Columbus and the Neanderthals]

Reginald: Alright, boys. We can do this the easy way, Reginald: [holds his cane in a threatening manner]

Reginald: or the hard way.

Christopher Columbus: [Columbus brandishes his sword and the Neanderthals raise their giant bones]

Reginald: [scared] So, it's gonna be the hard way?

Christopher Columbus: [In Italian] E' tutto finito.

::::ringggggg:::: ringggggggg:::: WHAT???? What is that ringing???....I'm lost....is that a phone?! :::ringgggggggg:::::: WHY?? Don't they know that I'm sleeping in the BEST bed in the entire world?!! :::ring::: oh HECK NO.......go away! This bed is better than.....than...oh gosh (throwing my leg out across this fabulously soft down comforter and snuggling down deeper into these pillows that feel like clouds I SWEAR) :::ring:::Ummmmm....they're trying to make me cuss (pulling the pillow over my head)......who knows I'm here?!!! Hang UP!! :::: RINGGGGGGGGGG:::::

HELLO !!!! "hey....girl...u gotta come down here, come down here NOW" says this hushed voice. WHAT!!! Come down where??? 'girl, come on, you have to come down to the porch, NOW, come on". Listen.....I'm sleep, I'm happy, I'm NOT coming downstairs ....well......if I won the lottery, I'll be down, other than that...NOPE. "Noooooo listen, trust me....you wanna come downstairs. There's a man here. He's an actor.....you'll know him when you see him" I"LL KNOW HIM WHEN I SEE HIM???? YOU don't even know his name??? "Naw....but you'll know him, for real, come downstairs".

Hang up and never call me again. Goodbye! "WAIT WAIT.....pleaseeeeeeeeee pleaseeeeeeeeee come downstairs. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee"....and I now know the Diva is NOT going to let this go. I can tell she's going to blow my cell up, come upstairs, if necessary, and jump up and down and I'm not gonna win so I might as well dress in black, go downstairs quickly and kill her in the dark and sneak up the back steps back to this lovely bed.

Geezzzzzzz she knows I can't walk out the room just looking like anything but I wish I could put a wig on sideways tonight, I'm so mad ! She doesn't know his NAME !! Grumbling and mumbling I pull on some jeans and thank God for flip flops, dab on some makeup and look lovingly back at my bed before I storm out of the room.

Steam is coming out of my ears as I board the elevator and I'm trying to think kind and gentle thoughts to help me before I get to the lobby and it's not working. Crossing the slippery marble floor through the french doors to the warm breezes blowing across the dimly lit porch, I spot her immediately....on the Smoker's side. I hate this side and she knows it but I hate everything right now so I quickly look around and all I see are 'porch people' and I throw myself on the wicker settee.

She's really lost her mind cause she's grinning like a chestshire cat and I'm fuming! "So, where is this HE that you don't know but I will?" "Girl, he's down there in the dark at the end. Can you see him??" I look..'darlin....can YOU see him cause it's PITCH black down there", I say. "Well, he's there and you have to meet him; he's really really nice. When I saw him, I knew I knew him but I didn't know his name but then Kyle told me and he says he's really nice and I went down there to meet him and he was nice! so I know he'll be nice to you if ...".

"Wait, hold up, YOU went and met a total stranger?? By yourself?? With your shy introvert, won't talk to folks self?? For real?!!

Ok....where is he? And before I know it, I'm up and walking brisking to the end of the veranda toward the two gentlemen seated at the railing contently puffing on their fragrant cigars. And I DO know him and his name is....is.....oh geez...what is his name. You know....he played in that movie your kids made you watch 40 million times...he's Reginald....he's...

He's the guy in that movie......what's the name of it?? Ooooooh yeah...........

"Hello" I hear myself saying. "I'm so sorry to disturb you like this. I really never do this but my niece called me and woke me up out of a sound sleep to come downstairs and meet somebody and I had NO idea it was you and now, I'm so pleased I did. I tell him my name and he says. "I'm Bill Cobb and I'm really pleased to meet you Kat. Let me stand up and greet you." "No no, please stay seated. I don't mean to intrude" "NOOOO I insist!" and he unfurls himself up and up out of the the chair.

"Call me Bill please". Bill is tall! And he's so very kind and gentle and nice. He introduces me to his associate and after exchanging pleasantries, I try to exit but Bill isn't having it. He wants to talk (and so do I really). He tells me he's in town for the 4th Annual Sunscreen Film Festival and is starring in a small film, that will be playing the next day at 2:00 pm, titled "This Man's Life and invites me to come see it.

Unfortunately, to my great consternation, I have other plans and doubt that I'll be back in time! Snap....wouldn't you know it. I tell him he isn't the first person I've met connected with the film festival; that i had met a panelist name LaTonya and he and his friend both nod and smile together and say...oh yes. She's the casting director.

What?? And the Diva and I talked to her about FLIP FLOPS and PURSES when we should have been POSING as extras or someting but now I'm sure I talked with a lisp or something that made her just overlook me like that. Poot! Career gone! Umpf.

Bill and I continued to chat for quite a while until I finally excused myself before I overstayed my welcome. Walking back to the Diva, my face was beaming with a large grin. "I'm glad you woke me up. He is NICE", I say......and his name IS BILL COBBS."

By the way, his movie, THIS MAN'S LIFE - Directed by Todd Thompson, a magical tale about a man traveling home to claim his estranged father's inheritance when he encounters a peculiar stranger that seems to know everything about his life, was voted BEST Florida Film!

I'm going to go see it - sorryfully, without Bill !