The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - We can do this the Easy Way or...

From Night at the Museum (2006)

Reginald: [while trying to escape, Reginald is found by Christopher Columbus and the Neanderthals]

Reginald: Alright, boys. We can do this the easy way, Reginald: [holds his cane in a threatening manner]

Reginald: or the hard way.

Christopher Columbus: [Columbus brandishes his sword and the Neanderthals raise their giant bones]

Reginald: [scared] So, it's gonna be the hard way?

Christopher Columbus: [In Italian] E' tutto finito.

::::ringggggg:::: ringggggggg:::: WHAT???? What is that ringing???....I'm lost....is that a phone?! :::ringgggggggg:::::: WHY?? Don't they know that I'm sleeping in the BEST bed in the entire world?!! :::ring::: oh HECK NO.......go away! This bed is better than.....than...oh gosh (throwing my leg out across this fabulously soft down comforter and snuggling down deeper into these pillows that feel like clouds I SWEAR) :::ring:::Ummmmm....they're trying to make me cuss (pulling the pillow over my head)......who knows I'm here?!!! Hang UP!! :::: RINGGGGGGGGGG:::::

HELLO !!!! "hey....girl...u gotta come down here, come down here NOW" says this hushed voice. WHAT!!! Come down where??? 'girl, come on, you have to come down to the porch, NOW, come on". Listen.....I'm sleep, I'm happy, I'm NOT coming downstairs ....well......if I won the lottery, I'll be down, other than that...NOPE. "Noooooo listen, trust me....you wanna come downstairs. There's a man here. He's an actor.....you'll know him when you see him" I"LL KNOW HIM WHEN I SEE HIM???? YOU don't even know his name??? "Naw....but you'll know him, for real, come downstairs".

Hang up and never call me again. Goodbye! "WAIT WAIT.....pleaseeeeeeeeee pleaseeeeeeeeee come downstairs. Pleaseeeeeeeeeee"....and I now know the Diva is NOT going to let this go. I can tell she's going to blow my cell up, come upstairs, if necessary, and jump up and down and I'm not gonna win so I might as well dress in black, go downstairs quickly and kill her in the dark and sneak up the back steps back to this lovely bed.

Geezzzzzzz she knows I can't walk out the room just looking like anything but I wish I could put a wig on sideways tonight, I'm so mad ! She doesn't know his NAME !! Grumbling and mumbling I pull on some jeans and thank God for flip flops, dab on some makeup and look lovingly back at my bed before I storm out of the room.

Steam is coming out of my ears as I board the elevator and I'm trying to think kind and gentle thoughts to help me before I get to the lobby and it's not working. Crossing the slippery marble floor through the french doors to the warm breezes blowing across the dimly lit porch, I spot her immediately....on the Smoker's side. I hate this side and she knows it but I hate everything right now so I quickly look around and all I see are 'porch people' and I throw myself on the wicker settee.

She's really lost her mind cause she's grinning like a chestshire cat and I'm fuming! "So, where is this HE that you don't know but I will?" "Girl, he's down there in the dark at the end. Can you see him??" I look..'darlin....can YOU see him cause it's PITCH black down there", I say. "Well, he's there and you have to meet him; he's really really nice. When I saw him, I knew I knew him but I didn't know his name but then Kyle told me and he says he's really nice and I went down there to meet him and he was nice! so I know he'll be nice to you if ...".

"Wait, hold up, YOU went and met a total stranger?? By yourself?? With your shy introvert, won't talk to folks self?? For real?!!

Ok....where is he? And before I know it, I'm up and walking brisking to the end of the veranda toward the two gentlemen seated at the railing contently puffing on their fragrant cigars. And I DO know him and his name is....is.....oh geez...what is his name. You know....he played in that movie your kids made you watch 40 million times...he's Reginald....he's...

He's the guy in that movie......what's the name of it?? Ooooooh yeah...........

"Hello" I hear myself saying. "I'm so sorry to disturb you like this. I really never do this but my niece called me and woke me up out of a sound sleep to come downstairs and meet somebody and I had NO idea it was you and now, I'm so pleased I did. I tell him my name and he says. "I'm Bill Cobb and I'm really pleased to meet you Kat. Let me stand up and greet you." "No no, please stay seated. I don't mean to intrude" "NOOOO I insist!" and he unfurls himself up and up out of the the chair.

"Call me Bill please". Bill is tall! And he's so very kind and gentle and nice. He introduces me to his associate and after exchanging pleasantries, I try to exit but Bill isn't having it. He wants to talk (and so do I really). He tells me he's in town for the 4th Annual Sunscreen Film Festival and is starring in a small film, that will be playing the next day at 2:00 pm, titled "This Man's Life and invites me to come see it.

Unfortunately, to my great consternation, I have other plans and doubt that I'll be back in time! Snap....wouldn't you know it. I tell him he isn't the first person I've met connected with the film festival; that i had met a panelist name LaTonya and he and his friend both nod and smile together and say...oh yes. She's the casting director.

What?? And the Diva and I talked to her about FLIP FLOPS and PURSES when we should have been POSING as extras or someting but now I'm sure I talked with a lisp or something that made her just overlook me like that. Poot! Career gone! Umpf.

Bill and I continued to chat for quite a while until I finally excused myself before I overstayed my welcome. Walking back to the Diva, my face was beaming with a large grin. "I'm glad you woke me up. He is NICE", I say......and his name IS BILL COBBS."

By the way, his movie, THIS MAN'S LIFE - Directed by Todd Thompson, a magical tale about a man traveling home to claim his estranged father's inheritance when he encounters a peculiar stranger that seems to know everything about his life, was voted BEST Florida Film!

I'm going to go see it - sorryfully, without Bill !

The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - Take ME out to the Ballgame!

As the evening begins to fall, Diva's in a hurry. After a day of shopping, she's off to do what she absolutely loves.......watch grass grow.....oh wait.....no.....that's my thought. She's off to the baseball game! The Boston Red Sox are playing the Tampa somebodies (don't hate..I don't know; don't care). The car with driver is waiting and she's shifting into her high-heel wedges and skinny jeans and throwing the white Chanel 'sex in the city' bag (that she had to have FEDEX'ed to us) over her shoulder.

I'm noting why I am NOT a Diva because wearing high heels to a baseball game sounds like a recipe for injury to me given all the steps in the stadiums and besides, I'm still reeling from the price of that ticket !! I could feed all the hungry in ...um....well..somewhere! And ready, set, she's gone!

I'll show her. Today, I'm going to have a marvelous evening lounging around the hotel while she, on the other hand will be bored out of her mind. I will win!! I'm off to lounge; she's off to Tropicana Field (Tropicana isn't just an orange juice....who knew).

Tropicana Field

I grabbed a book, my ipod and waddled downstairs to the lobby where I will make the monumental decision of 'porch' or 'waterfall' seating area. Diva, on the other hand, is headed to the Home Plate Club.

HOME PLATE CLUB View

It seems that the plush leather reclining seats behind home plate are among the closest in baseball -- starting only 50 feet from home plate. To get to their seats, the Home Plate Club ticket holders walk through the same tunnel the team uses and then they receive in-seat service including complimentary food and drinks and they have their own concierge, complimentary reserved VIP Parking, and access to the Whitney Bank Club.

I'm still pondering -porch - waterfall - hamburger - salad - pizza

Meanwhile at the ballgame,

The Whitney Bank Club is glass enclosed and located on the Mezzanine Level of Tropicana Field, just below the suites. You can watch the game live from the first base line or from any of the dozens of flat screen televisions while enjoying the all-inclusive buffet, unlimited bar service, complimentary VIP parking and private restrooms

Hmm I'm thinking......salad OR hamburger and fries by the waterfall. She's really missing out.

As the Diva walks toward her seat with that 'take your breath away' walk she has, the Tampa Rays Mascot, Raymond, is smitten and runs down the field, jumps into the home plate club and tries to kiss her.

Raymond, the mascot

Apparently the crowd loves it but the Diva is, unknowingly to most, really shy and doesn't like a lot of attention ( I know I know.....5'10", gorgeous, carrying the flyest bags and clothes made shy..hah). Anyway, out of shyness, the poor Diva tries her best to move away and, horror of horrors, loses her footing --- BUT never fear, she's right behind the Red Sox bench and they all rush to help her but out of the pack emerges David Ortiz......

otherwise known as Big Poppi.................

who jumps up, runs over and reaches out just in time to catch her in his arms and help her regain her balance. I bet she won't run from mascots anymore. I bet that taught her....hmpf.

Well, I've decided - after talking to Sue, the former united stewardess now waitress in Marchand's bar and grill who assures me that the salad is out and the burger is thumbs up, that hamburger it is! Medium well. Ummm.....

Top this Diva !

The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - Call Tyrone !

"I think ya better call Tyrone (Call Him) And Tell him come on, Help you get your Stuff(Come On, Come on) You need to Call Tyrone (Call Him) And tell him I said come on"....Erykah Badu

Staying in the Vinoy in St. Petersburg, Florida is lovely and frustrating at the same time. You would think that such a lovely and expensive hotel would include wifi free but NO!! You have to PAY $14.00 a day. Well the Diva didn't like it one bit and since her last trip here, had purchased an air card so that she could sign on from wherever she wanted. She smugly sits at the lovely desk popping open her laptop and laughing at the little sign posted on the desk explaining the cost. "Hah! So much for you Mr. FEE" as she flips it face down onto the desk. There's just one problem; the air card is not working.

After spending an hour talking to her carrier on the telephone, she realizes that she has to take the laptop and card to the carrier to be reprogrammed. This calls for another ride in a comfortable 'metro car' and off we go with a driver that's a bit less than likable at first and who appears NOT to know exactly where we're going. This causes us to whip out our cellphones and pull up our gps to guide him to our destination. He said he couldn't engage his gps while he was driving. It made me wonder ...what does a lost driver do when he has NO clue about where he's going if he can't stop to engage his gps. We didn't get the answer to that thanks to our cellphones - don't leave home without them!

Being lost in the Tampa area is not a bad thing. With a water view almost everywhere, you really can't complain. So while the Diva grumbled, I looked around taking in the view. That's when I saw it....Tyrone Boulevard ! What? A street named after Tyrone??? Is that the same Tyrone Erykah sang about??? Hey, it's no little street. It's a BOULEVARD.

and then I see...the TYRONE Elementary School.

It looks like Tyrone is huge down here. I had to laugh. When my oldest son was young, he came to me one day and said "when I grow up Mommy, I'm changing my name to Tyrone". I said "noooooo, I don't like that name". He said, 'yep, it's going to be Tyrone". Well, as I look around, I'm wondering am I the Mother of this Tyrone and if so YEAAAAAAAA. Then, I see Tyrone's Barber Shop and the Tyrone Middle School.

What can top this??? Glad you ASKED. Why TYRONE SQUARE - a wonderful MALL full of stores

A mall.......and just think.......they couldn't fix the laptop right away and wanted us to come back in a couple of hours. Oh that sounds tough. Reluctantly, we had to go to "Tyrone Square" and decide if we were going to spend our time in Macy's, Dillards, or in the assortment of other lovely stores. It was tough but we managed to pull through. We even grabbed a bit to eat in the food court and stopped in the lovely "Bijou Brigitte" where we fawned over the loveliest costume jewelry ever. Too bad it's only located Florida and Germany.

As the Diva pulled me away from that charming place, she made a pit stop at the ticket booth where she picked up a ticket to the 'ugh' baseball game (home plate section)....did that woman say three hundred something????? BASEBALL !!! THREE HUNDRED!!!!! :::Swoon::: Elizabeth, I'm coming !!

I think I'll call TYRONE and tell him come on and see bout me.

Mother's Day - a new mission

Mom and Dad way back when

Yesterday was Mother's Day. It was my first without my Mom. It was also my first as an orphan. I didn't want it to come. I just knew that I was going to be so depressed that I wouldn't get out of bed. I miss both my parents but since my mom just recently left, I miss her the most. I was her caretaker and that changed our relationship radically. She was totally dependent on me and my heart changed from loving her as my Mom to loving her like my child. I think most can understand that statement but what really happened was I discovered an even deeper level of love.

We're free to love anyone but we usually restrict it to just a few. Perhaps we feel that it makes love more special when we restrict it. Maybe that's true to some, but when you lose the ones you've chosen to love, how will you handle the lonliness? I miss my mother but I'm not lonely. I miss her beautiful face; her soft manicured hands; her wit; her powerful belief in God and her testimonies of his goodness; her love for her family and her community. When she was able, she was the one to visit the sick, call the shut-ins, mail cards, send gifts - something to let people know that, whatever their circumstances, they are not alone and unloved. I imagine that a lot of people miss my Mom.

I feel sad that I didn't readily step into her shoes and become the one to reach out to those that could use a dose of love in their lives. I'm happy to have learned that a friend of mine did do that. Hearing about what she did, made my Mom feel closer to me and has inspired me to do better in the future. This friend decided that there were many mothers in nursing homes in her area that didn't have children to visit them but who were deserving of some love and attention. She spent the last week and weekend preparing some loving tokens for them. What she really decided is that she could love more and more and more. And she did.

Lynn (DrinDiva) - thank you for being the wonderful person you are; thank you for showing us a better side of love; thank you for lifting the spirits of those that received from you, including me; and thank you for reminding us that we are the hands and feet of God in this world and he wants more cookies and cakes and flower arrangements made and delivered to those in need of love today!

The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - I think they LIVE here

The Diva and Kat arrive at the exquisite entrance to the Renaissance Vinoy. As we ascend the white marble steps and pass through the gorgeous archway, the lovely veranda comes into view filled with comfortable wicker furniture for lounging and enjoying the wonderful weather. The left side is for smokers and the right side, non smokers, making for an interesting blended fragrance as you enter.

The lobby is large but intimate and cozy. One of the first items to catch my eye is the large sign that says "To protect the privacy of our guests, no autographs or photographs allowed". Well now....it seems they KNEW we were coming but gee, I would be willing to pose for a couple photographs; no problem. It seems they're very serious about our protection because there are uniform officers on the premises along with the hotel security to enforce this policy.

Apparently, we weren't expected by the front office person because I dare say he did NOT treat us as if we were their expected guests. As a matter of fact, he was rather brusk and haughty. Apparently, he didn't realize he was dealing with the Diva and she could certainly raise the bar on him at any moment. However, we were eager to get on to vacationing so we endured the slight and hurried to our lovely guest room accompanied by our bell boy, Jeffrey, a Northern Virginia transplant. We hadn't been here long and had already discovered, this is the land of transplants and they seem to be thriving !! Who wouldn't in this lovely place.

Throwing down our luggage, freshening up a bit, we hurried down to the lovely porch. There at the railing were two very accommodating rocking chairs facing the beautiful blue water of the marina. Heaven! From the time we entered the hotel, the Diva had turned heads but here we were on the porch and before we could be seated, a young boy child, about 12, appeared to tell her "I like your dress". Ah geez, it's getting harder. Now the kids are getting into the act.

As I ease into the comfortable rocking chair and begin the rhythmic motion, I hear her explaining that he likes the colors. Yeah right. He likes what's IN the dress Diva. He looks at her with that 'ok if you say so' look. The porch is an extension of the "Promenade Lounge" known for it's fruity rum and peach schnapps drink called the "promenade". Diva is ready to start and orders one up right away. I, on the other hand, drift off into sleep.

Head back, mouth open sleep; the embarrassing kind, minus the snore, that's what I'm doing when I hear directly in front of my face - "YEP, she's SLEEP". What the.....! I open my eyes and it's the kid. He's telling his Dad who's sitting over at the table next to me that I'm asleep. Well Yeah, I am and why are you in my face? I turn to the Dad and smile and he begins to apologize and hopes that I won't mind if his son stands there at the rail. He's so eager to try to grab a glimpse of a Boston Red Sox Player. LIGHTBULB!

Those signs are NOT for the Diva and the KAT. There is a baseball team here and it just happens to be the favorite team of the DIVA ! Hah.....subterfuge is afoot and I will NOT be going to a baseball game. I'd rather watch flowers bloom. Armed with this new knowledge, I drift off to sleep again only to hear directly in front of my face "YEP, she's sleep again"!! Hmm....there are uniform officers around but I can't help wondering what their take is on hitting other people's kids.

Armed with a camera, this boy is climbing over the railing and hiding in the bushes in case a player gets out of a car. I can't imagine they're this serious. Turns out the father is as serious and he scurries back and forth up and down the driveway surveying the street, crossing to the other corner talking to people, coming back and staking out the porch. Give me a break. I leave.

I return several hours later, book in hand to do some light reading and there they are again. Staring at the street, climbing over the rail, ever on guard, ever looking. Who could love baseball this much that they would spend ALL day LOOKING and HOPING to see a baseball player??? Well.....they would along with the guys milling around on the corner across the street and hiding behind the trees, camped out at the elevator, sitting in the back recesses of the porch. For two FULL days we never came downstairs without seeing them. I finally figured it out.

They LIVE on the PORCH!

:::calling security...ANGEL ::::::

~stay tuned for more "Travels with the Diva and the Kat"~

The Travels of the Diva and the Kat - Off to the Vinoy

All year, my niece has talked to me about a trip she was taking me on to Florida. Sometimes I remembered and sometimes I forgot. It had been so long since I traveled, I couldn't even muster up any excitement about it. But the time has finally come and we were off in the middle of the night on the super shuttle dashing to the Baltimore Washington Airport to catch one of the first flights of the day.

It had been smoldering in Washington and everything in nature was tossing green stuff everywhere. Breathing had become a struggle for those with allergies and those that were just developing allergies. Folks were threatening to pull their eyeballs out of their sockets or to rip their noses off their face to stop the sinus drip. I was armed with medication up the kazoo. Yet, as we traveled on this night, I was wearing a jacket to keep away the chill brought about by the sudden 20 degree drop in temperature.

Arriving at the airport, my gazelle looking neice emerged from the van, looking like she'd just stepped out of a fashion shoot, tossing her Louis Vittion bags to the anxious skycap that appeared out of nowhere. I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how to get off the van with my short legs without asking for a stepladder. Of course, when my 'departures' rolling bag came off the van, I was standing there alone with no fawning attendant. Hmmm......it was going to be a long trip travelling with a DIVA that I loved.

Two plane rides later, we arrived in the state of Florida and could feel the sunshine in the terminal. As we entered the baggage area, a beautiful man with a headful of dreads approached her with a broad smile with his arms outstretched. This was Mr. Pierre, her preferred driver; a haitian born, new yorker relocated to Tampa, who had a ready smile, a baritone carribean accented voice with a caring personality that caused us to relax immediately and allow him to handle everything.

Not only was Mr.Pierre beautiful, so was his car.

I could feel the strain and tension of life slipping away as we drove onto the freeway and the Tampa Bay came into view. What a beautiful sight it is -blue clear water almost as far as your eye can see; Sailboats, muscle boats and yachts dotting the waterway; Palm trees lining the walkways; Beautiful flowering purple trees dotting the scenic view; and, you can almost imagine a lovely fragrance in the air.

As we're being whisked away to the hotel, I'm thinking - Marriott has some lovely hotels; different levels. I know that wherever we're going, it will be fine, relaxing, enjoyable, comfortable. And then, she lowers her tortoise shell Chanel sunglasses down to the bridge of her nose and points into the distance. "Look there. See it. There's the hotel. We have bay view rooms. Can you see it?"

THE RENAISSANCE VINOY

Oh joy of joys!!! Travelling with the Diva definitely is looking like a good thing. Welcome to St. Petersburg. Here we come !!

Do you HEAR what I SEE

My doctor sent me for an ultrasound of my thyroid last week. What amazing technology!


Sound allows us, on the outside, to see what's on the inside, in an incredibly clear fashion.

I remember when ultrasounds were blurs; now we see them as portraits.

Through our words, not our dressing, people see us. They immediately know us for who and what we really are --- arrogant, angry, vain, profane, gentle, kind, loving, caring....

The Bible says that the Father allows the Spirit of Truth to live in and speak to us. I think I'm going to listen more to see if it changes what comes out of me.

When people hear you, what image do they see?

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